The monkey thing is not true! Chongo only appeared to be in favor of that piece of legislation at the time because it was then tied in to a number of other key initiatives in a piece of legislation which he was deeply opposed to, and he knew that if the outrageous monkey proviso was added to the package, then the entire LFEUFE* bill would be stopped dead in its tracks and never get passed! It was a master stroke on Chongo's part and you should all thank him for it, because if he had not done as he did you would all be forced to buy Kraft Chunky Peanut Butter, wear Gap clothing, and listen to American Idol CDs for the rest of your lives!

The one about the blondes, however, is true. Chongo has always been in favor of placing no restrictions whatsoever on the free movements of bimbos (blonde, brunette or redhead) throughout the Americas. In fact, Chongo would like to free up the bimbo trade with Europe, Africa, and Asia as well.

*(LFEUFE: Let's Fuck Everything Up For Everyone!)