I used to know a couple who were married in a very traditional sense, including heterosexuality & even monogamy, only, being atheists & anarchists, they declined to involve either church or state in the matter. After she first applied for a job using her husband's last name, she got a form letter from the Social Security Administration inquiring about the discrepancy. She wrote on the back, "I find it convenient to use the last name of the man I am living with" and returned it. Social Security sent her a new card.

This shows that it is possible for one government agency to mind its own business. Let the rest of them go & do likewise!