The New Simian Monthly, the most influential magazine devoted to the doings of apes and monkeys across America, has devoted its latest issue to dispelling nasty rumors that have been swirling around Chongo's campaign for the presidency.

The cover shows a tasteful and inoffensive picture of Chongo Chimp accompanied by members of his staff, including Renata Carson, an important human member of Chongo's team.

Ms Carson has been in the news for the last few days after this other much more controversial picture surfaced on the Internet: Renata Carson and Chongo Chimp in a casual moment?

The scandalous picture purports to show a naked Chongo Chimp sitting beside Ms Carson on a public beach in California. Now, while it is normal for chimpanzees who are being held in captivity to go about in the nude (as we often see at zoos), it is definitely not normal for those other chimps who, like Chongo, have taken up an equal role with humanity as proud participants in today's multicultural North American society.

Chongo has vigorously denounced the Internet photo as a retouched, edited forgery.

"It's true that me and Renata was takin' a break on the beach that day, okay? Everybody needs a break now and then, and we had been workin' hard in the campaign office for many hours, catchin' up on the paperwork and plannin' strategy. In fact, we was up half the night. So in the morning we decided to go relax on the beach for a bit and we did meet some press people who took photos and you can see some of those photos and I ain't nude in any of the real ones. The part that ain't right, you see, is that someone doctored that one photo and they airbrushed out my swimming trunks, my flipflops, and my panama hat that I wear when I'm on the beach. Some crummy jerk is tryin' to make me look like some uneducated bush ape that don't know any better than to go around in the nude on a public beach in America! Furthermore, they are implyin' an improper behaviour on my part in regards to Ms Carson. This is rank specism and I ain't gonna stand for it. The man that altered that photo is gonna pay dearly for this."

Questioned about Renata's role in the campaign Chongo said that he had full confidence in her character and her expertise.

"I have known Renata for the last 7 years in downtown Chicago where she has worked as a highly respected paralegal and a fundraiser for various progressive causes. I met her a few times here and there on some cases I was workin' on. I knew she was someone you could rely on...but I was still quite surprised and flattered when she volunteered to serve on the Chongo election team in this great election year of 2008. Renata was one of the first human beings to come on board with the APP and she has rapidly moved straight to the top of the command structure at Chongo HQ. She don't look down on apes or monkeys at all, but sees us as complete equals, and those are the kind of people who are goin' to turn this country around and end specism once and for all."

"I am so disgusted at the slurs that have been thrown at this fine woman, and I am outraged that my enemies would go so far as to alter a photograph to impugn my character and hers. I can forgive their attacks on me...but I cannot forgive their scurillous efforts to besmirch the name of this brave young woman who has served her community tirelessly and unselfishly for years and is now serving her country in the same way. I am gonna expose these jerks, these cowardly scandalmongers for what they truly are, and they will rue the day they tried to pull a fast one on Chongo Chimp!"

The New Simian interviewed Ms Carson as well, and she had nothing but praise for Chongo. "He is a breath of fresh air in an election year tainted with the usual crass political games and dirty tricks. I had frankly given up on both the Democrats and the Republicans quite some time ago. They have sold their souls to their corporate donors and they'll say anything to get elected. Then they'll usually do the opposite once they're in power. I could not countenance voting for either one of them. Still, I found myself uninspired by what the Green Party had to offer, and I am no Libertarian. It was a leap of faith that took me to the APP, and that faith has been fully justified in the leadership and vision of Chongo Chimp. Chongo is a man...yes, I think I can use that word without hesitation...he's a man of remarkable courage and honesty. He's not afraid to live by the ideals he truly believes in no matter what others may think about it. Do you know how rare a quality that is in politicians these days? Chongo won't back down. He won't compromise on his ideals. He won't abandon Americans the day after he's elected, and he'll get the job done. That's why I'm working for his campaign. It's time to put a REAL chimp in the White House...not a poor imitation of one."

Well, we've heard that slogan before, haven't we? Are George Bush's ears burning? ;-)

The New Simian Monthly has been endorsing Chongo enthusiastically ever since he announced his candidacy, and their cover art, which shows a well-dressed Chongo Chimp seated with the key members of his election team around him, Renata Carson standing immediately to his left and wearing a very stylish blue dress and jacket, should help to dispell the furor caused by that troublesome photo that's been getting so much attention on the Net.

The New Simian is known for its tasteful and inoffensive coverage, being a publication which always tries to focus on positives rather than negatives. "We don't monkey around" is the motto proudly displayed under their banner, and they have held to that, refusing to stoop to the sort of negative attacks that many of Chongo's political opponents seem much more eager to employ.

We can only wonder which of Chongo's adversaries in the race is behind this latest attempt to derail his campaign. The smart money says it could well be the Democrats...or the Republicans...or it could even be both of them. They both have a lot to lose.

And if Chongo has his way they will both have a lot to learn as well in this election year.