Hamsters!!! When all five kids still lived at home the three boys shared one room and the two girls had the other. The youngest of the two girls had the bad habit of not leaving other peoples things alone, she was about eight years old. One afternoon the oldest boy reports to me that the hamster that belonged to the oldest girl had died and that he had buried it for her. I praised him for handling the situation for me and consoled his sister, who was the oldest of the five and missing her pet. This being the last of the hamsters we had, all the others having previously gone on to their just rewards, we disposed of all the various trappings, cages, etc.

All is normal so far, right??.....Not in this household!!!

About four days later, actually about 3AM I'm awakened by a scurrying noise on my side of the bed. Then I feel a light tugging on the sheet, that followed by a sensation of pressure on my leg!! I look over at wifey and she is sound asleep! I consider myself a brave person, but there is just so much brave anybody can muster at 3AM. I reach for the light, scream at wife to "wake up dammit!!!!, we've got rats in the house!!!" and jump out of bed, all in the same instant. Once I gather what few senses I could muster I look to see the "dead" hamster reincarnated and looking up at me, obviously annoyed at all the commotion.

It turns out that the youngest daughter had taken the hamster out to play with, let it get away, and in an attempt to cover her tracks put part of a furry stuffed toy which, upon exhumation could have resembled a dead hamster, back in the cage where her sister would find her pet dead. Being rather squeamish, the oldest girl of course called her brother to handle the situation! Mr. Wannabe Pet Funeral Director scoops the "deceased rodent" out of the cage with a plastic scoop and conducts a hasty ceremony without a post mortem and the rest is history!!

We now find our hero (ME) at 3:30AM, going to the local all night (at that time) supermarket which had a large area of pet supplies. Try explaining to a clerk at the checkout why you need to buy a hamster cage, wood shavings, and an excersize wheel, water bottle, and food at that time of day!! Many morals to this story....pick one you like!