warning: if bawdy songs offend you, don't read this thread!

I'm looking for the lyrics to "No jewels at all". It's a song very similar to "No balls at all", with the same basic plot and probably melody; the chorus runs "no jewels at all, no jewels at all, I married a man who had no jewels at all!"

A friend of mine sang it for me once, and that's all i remember of it....it's enough different from "no balls at all" that I can't reconstruct it, because it had some clever extensions on the "jewels" metaphor and is nowhere near as obvious as "no balls at all". anyone here know the verses?

thanks!