FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, DON'T SAY I TOLD YOU

Words by M.E.. Published Church & John, Cincinnati, 1883.

I'm going to whisper some words in your ear, but for …
Whatever I say, and whatever you hear, for …
I think you'll acknowledge before you depart
That I've unreservedly opened my heart,
And whatever I know I to you will impart, but for …

The mashers are getting too thick on the street, but for …
In gorgeous apparel (unpaid-for) complete, but for …
With eyeglass and cane, quite cutting a swell,
In front of the Grand, or the Palace Hotel,
But what they are good for nobody can tell, …

The political pool's in a curious state, but for …
Both parties are watching and cutting their bait, but for …
For a   new party some people think there is room,
And when it once starts it will go with a boom,
And send all the old ones away up the flume, but for …

For matters have got in such terrible shape, but for …
With Uncivil Service and legal red tape, but for …
That honest Pub Funcs are a thing of the past,
So everyone says that the worst are the last,
And the end of the world is approaching us fast, but for …

The really great singers are nearly all dead, but for …
And those that are not are the same, for they're wed, but for …
It makes me feel lonesome to see them all go,
And one by one dropping like bricks in a row,
But music still lives while I do, you know, but for …

A great fault in singers you all will admit, but for …
Is failing to catch on, the moment to quit, but for …
They spin out their ditty so horribly long,
That more than a sermon it is than a song,
So I'll spin out of sight where perhaps I belong, but for …

Encore verse

Well, what's the difficulty now with you folks,
        Ain't you suited with what I have told you?
I've got to the end of my budget of jokes,
        But for goodness sake, don't say I told you,
Now a tale that's twice told is as good as no tale,
And the best of good jokes grow rapidly stale,
So Ta-ta, my friends, this time without fail,
        But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.