Kendall, I believe you. Honestly, I do. I've hung around the Forum long enough to know that you were kidding. I just didn't find it terribly funny, and my fear was that someone out there might take your tongue-in-cheek advice seriously.
Hey, gnu, why not tell your buddy Ches to contact Victoria Stilwell, that dog trainer who has the "It's Me or the Dog" TV program? She's in the UK, though her show also airs here in the US on cable. She'll set Ches's wifey straigbt! If not, there's always Cesar Milan the "Dog Whisperer"!