I've probably used the same pun too often in this - but I enjoyed having a challenge again.

The tune is 'Mountain Dew', and the last four lines are lifted almost directly from one of the versions in Digitrad - but you've got to end a song somehow.

Bradypus

A Non-scents Song !

In Canada's land certain things are banned
Which will come as no surprise
But the government has now banned scent
I'm telling you no lies
Perfume in the air has now turned rare
In government and school
They can quickly tell if you smell too well
That you've broken their new rule.

In Halifax they were wearing masks
Chemical Sensitivity
Can make you sick if the perfume's thick
So they've banned it now, you see
Hypochondriacs with vomiting attacks
Or sensitive souls at home
It matters not how the law we've got
We're now a scents – free zone.

A dab behind the ears can lead to tears
Shower gel to an early bath
Now deodorant has no odour in't
As we go down the scent – free path
If you've got B O, better let it show
Or you could be done for assault
If you don't use scents, then you've got a defence
That the odour's not your fault

In the gardens and the parks there are many sparks
As the flowers quit the town
It may be common sense, but their common scents
Could have them all sent down
But my Auntie June has a sweet perfume
It has such a wonderful 'pew'
But it's legal still, fully natural
It's the real old mountain dew !