Ah yes, kippers (what a charming touch of "non-personal" invective from our friend there...). Here's a song I once wrote about kippers:

Kippers by Post

As I walked out in Whitby, on a fine summer's day
I thought of my true love, so far far away.
"I'll send her a present from the fair Yorkshire coast
a token of love to the one I love most.
Flowers they would wither, they'd fade like some ghost
Oh what shall I send to the one I love most?
         
So I walked up and down, up and down, up and down -
For Whitby, you know, is that kind of a town.
"Oh what shall I send to the one I love most?"
And the shoplady said, "Send her Kippers by Post".
(Chorus)Kippers by Post from the fair Yorkshire coast,
A token of love she can treasure and toast.
Flowers they would wither, they'd fade like some ghost,
But she'll always remember those Kippers by Post.

When she opened the parcel and saw what was there,
Well, first she turned pale, and then she turned queer.
And then she turned clever - she's smarter than most -
And she turned and tucked into those Kippers by Post.

Well, you ask me what happened. Now I wasn't quite sure,
For she looked very fierce when she opened the door.
Then she says "My fine fellow - go right back to your coast.
And send us some more of those Kippers by Post.

Well, we'll always remember, we'll never forget,
There's a trace of those kippers, it's still with us yet.
And if we're down in spirits, it's as good as a dose -
we send right away for those Kippers by Post.
Kippers by Post, from the fair Yorkshire coast,
A token of love you can treasure and toast.
Flowers they would wither, they'd fade like some ghost,
But we'll always remember those Kippers by Post.