OK, here's what you do, Mick....

1. Check the ops list for the day, if anyone called A. B*gger is booked in for a laptopectomy, (a space age operation involving removal of old laptop and insertion of new) find nurse's outfit and squeeze yourself into it.
2. Go to medical supplies cupboard, take out largest enema you can find...hey take half a dozen.
3. Shimmy into operating theatre, smile at said patient, whilst gently patting their arm.
4. *Just* before they go under, wave said enemas in front of them and smile once more.
5. After patient is in the Land of Nod, remove shiny laptop from medical trolley and exit, stage left.
6. Remove nurse's uniform.
7. Worry like hell about burly doctor who winked at you several times as you walked into theatre earlier on, making mental note to avoid him next day.
8. Go home, remembering to enter via windows, as door is now completely hidden by casserole pots.
9. Eat large volumes of said casseroles, in assorted flavours, colours and textures, washed down with exceedingly large doses of anything VERY alcoholic.
9. Just before passing out, smile and remember we are all out here, surrounding you and your family with love.
10. On waking next morning, look up at sun, and know that every day which passes brings you closer to the light.



Loads of love..xx