Newcastle Theatre in An Uproar
With the Bear, the Horses, and the Dogs, as principal performers!

It's ha e ye seen how crouse and gay
The lads and lasses bent their way,
To see the horses act the play,
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

There some in silks did proudly shine,
And some were dress'd in caps se fine,
And some on stickes there did recline,
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

The belles and beaux of lo degree
Were eager this fine sight to see;
And soon as they had got their tea,
They set off for the Theatre.

Then at the gallery door they stood--
Impatient, and in fretful mood;
And many a one, faithly did no good
By coming to the Theatre.

The doors being open'd, on they push'd
Without distinction they were crush'd;
The cry was Tumble up you must,
To fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

Next direful shrieks were heard aloud,
Whilst heedless throng'd the busy crowd,
Alike the slothful and the proud
Were driven in the Theatre.

A miller chep I chanc'd to see
Frae out amang the crowd sae blae,
Was running up an entry
Near fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

He'd got his coat torn cross the lap,
My conscience! 'twas a sad mishap;
But others still were worse than that,
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

There some their gowns held in their hand,
And others lost their shawls se grand;
And if you crush'd not you might stand,
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

The pretty girls, to get a seat,
Crush'd on, wi' hair dress'd up sae neat;
But soon came back, in sic a freet,
Frae fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

Now some got in without their shoes,
And some got in wi' mony a bruise,
and some cam hyem to tell the news,
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

Within the pit a brutish chap
Had hit a maiden sic a rap,
'Cause she refus'd to take her hat
Off, in Newcastle Theatre.

They took her home without delay,
When in a fit she fainting lay;
And faith she well may curse the day
That e'er she saw the Theatre.

The boxes, too, were fill'd se fine,
With all the labouring sons of Tyne;
And servant lasses, all divine,
Did beautify the Theatre.

The heat was so excessive great,
That, not to keep the folk too late,
They hurry'd on poor Timour's fate,
At fam'd Newcastle Theatre.

The play was done as it struck ten,
Some greedy folks said, 'twas a shem;
However, they all wet went hyem,
From fam'd Newcastle Theatre

-In: The Newcastle Song Book or Tyne-Side Songster., W&T Fordyce
Newcastle Upon Tyne.