Bingo, following Ruth's comment about longdogs and poachers sounding like a song, Jools and I have written one with that title. Just working out the mandolin and octave mandola accompaniment but hope to perform it at BBB, if not sooner, and also do a mandolin and guitar version of Whipstaff and the Worktop Demon (just bear in mind that the worktop demon is a cat!). Suzy the Whipstaff will send you a sausage.