That's sad Jerry.

My mother in her last days did not really recognise much of the family. She knew how to tweak my father's conscience which worried us greatly, but when we went to visit just before she died she sort of knew who I was, but did not really recognise my wife who she referred to as "that woman" (they never really got on) and she didn't know who my daughter was. From what my father says, she didn't really recognise the younger of my two sisters and her daughter when they went to visit.

On an earlier visit, we had gone out for a meal and while we were waiting to order, my mother had a moment of lucidity and said something like "I am being a dreadful trouble to you all". It was very upsetting and the rest of the evening was somewhat sombre.

When my mother died my wife really came up trumps. She drove practically the length of England home, organised some food for the funeral tea and came back with it two days later. She was a real star.

The actual funeral was a fairly low key affair and we just had a brief graveside ceremony. We had one hymn, "The Lord's my Shepherd" sung to Brother James's air accompanied by the vicar on flute and myself playing harmony on a tenor recorder. My Father organised a church service later, but I was not there as I had to go home as I was due back at work.

My Mother had Alzheimer's disease, which is the cruelest of diseases. I would not wish it on anyone. It takes away your personality and your dignity.

Geoff