Perhaps it was the burned weenies from my grill disaster,
could be the cold pizza, the warm beer or the combo of all three!

Whatever the case, gave me the "wind" something terrible, I can't stand myself, my eyes are burning my little dog won't come over to me and my wife exiled me to the back porch. I fear if it gets any worse I will float off into the air and land somewhere in Canada. (Bruce have the beer ready)

Since I am outside with my guitar, maybe you can suggest some appropriate music to my problem. "Blowin in the Wind is a gimme so we have to do better than that"

Also, rolaids, tums, and gasX don't work. Any home remedies? I would like sometime today to go back into my house. I was going to light up a cig but I fear I could blow up and take out most of the neighborhood