Clinton, wallowing is exactly where I'm at, shall I say. Kat/TerriM and all, I don't know what would help other than your well-wishes and messages of sympathy, which do help. Also permission to vent, herewith granted by me, anyone doesn't want to read about it skip this posting.
The worst thing is that I have kind of lost my "support group" in this whole mess; most of my local, "face" friends are my X2B's relatives, who were very very supportive when I first fled with the twins in March '98 but who, understandably, have been less so since things went to court and got nasty. Also, I am beginning to think work is sick of hearing about it or at least am trying to prevent this from interfering with work since we are going through another merger and nobody knows whose department is next for the axe. So, everyone has enough to worry about, including me, as my job is also being "restructured" (which may or may not mean eliminated). As the British say, I may be found "redundant" (so I don't want to spout off there too much, quoi).
*sigh*
Oh well, nowhere to go but up. Back to music: >WALTZING MATILDA, Green Fields of France, THE LETTER EDGED IN BLACK, all make me cry, which is what I need right now. Anything on lost children? I'll see how deeply I can wallow, then I'll cheer up.

I do want to say that I am not suicidal or anything, don't worry about that. I'm just really really really sad and fearful about my boys. Thank you all for listening. I appreciate it.