olddude, there are sailing ships becalmed in the doldrums that would hire you for good money as either a wind source to fill the sails or as an outboard motor.

"THAR' HE BLOWS!

"WAY, HEY, BLOW THE MEN DOWN!

and all that rot.....





....or with a proper tooter, you could learn to play tunes until someone agrees to pay for your Tuba-Ligation.


And your loving wife should be crooning "You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings" in your praises.....




Seriously, Dan, I have on my bookshelves a volume entitled "Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read In School" edited by Carl Japikse (Enthea Press 1990).

In his "letter to The Royal Academy Of Brussells" he states...

"My Prize Question therefore should be to discover some Drug wholesome and not disagreeable, to be mixed with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the Natural Discharges, of Windfrom our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreeable as Perfumes."

....and expounds upon his proposal.

I guess nobody ever formulated anything that would make everything coming out roses yet, but that favorite Old Fart Ben was talking about it in a scholarly manner back in 1781.


"Farter along
We'll understand why......."











"Methane, runnin' all around your brain....."

(With your addiction, you thankfully don't even have to snort. And you're your own Meth Lab)