"Canadian Customer"

A Canadian customer was calling to find out if
there was a faster way to trigger menu commands
than mousing up to the menus.

Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts
for many of those commands. For example, suppose
you want to trigger the Select All command…

Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do
it?

Agent: Well, you just press Control-A.

Caller (after a pause): Well, that's not working for
me.

Agent: Do you have a text document open in front
of you?

Caller: Yes, I sure do.

Agent: OK, now press Control-A.

Caller: I am, but nothing happens.

Agent: The text isn't highlighted?

Caller: No, there's no change at all.

Agent: That's odd. If you press Control-A, the whole
document should be highlighted. Try it again. Press
Control-A. Tell me exactly what's happening.

Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen.
I'm pressing Control, eh? And nothing's happening,
eh?