I'm with Don and Carol C. (and others). Don't let anyone pressure you into singing if you don't want to. Only sing in front of people when you are ready to do so. Singing is such a personal thing and it should never be made a burden for you. I've always held singing as the thing that I keep for myself, it's what brings me true joy and I won't have anyone else spoil it for me.

If your friends keep asking you to sing, maybe they should really be asking themselves why you don't. However well meaning a friend, they can actually make you feel worse, because in the end you feel like you're letting them down. The possibility here is that maybe your friends are letting you down by not appreciating why you find this so hard.

It really bugs me when I see people who run sing-a-rounds really push for someone to sing. There are all sorts of reasons why someone wouldn't want perform on any given day, regardless of whether they think they can sing or not! It's almost cruel to persist in demanding someone sing when they have politely declined.

It is perfectly reasonable for you to turn down a request to sing. Don't let anyone bully you about it. As has been said before, don't exclude yourself from sessions for fear of being asked to sing. You don't have to.

When you feel comfortable being in the midst of singers, then start thinking about if you might like to sing along. Go for chorus songs and (as has been said before) try to stick with the melody. It can be hard to figure out what you're listening to in some sessions as the choruses can be harmonised to within an inch of their lives!

As for that person who made that spiteful comment so many years ago. Forget it. I know I can sing and I've had comments as bad. In fact I've had derogatory remarks and praises about the same performance! Any singing voice is an accident of birth, what you do with it is the hard work bit, but it is your choice! If you don't want to sing at any given time, don't.

I'm with the majority of people on this thread in that I think there are very few people about that really can't sing. I would go with Megan on the workshop approach. There are often workshops designed for those who think they can't sing. It also means you will be treated in a sympathetic manner. A lot of singing is in the confidence to do it. And in your case, it seems that that confidence has been destroyed for you.

Whatever you chose to do, you have my best wishes. ((((Skipy))))

Pen.