Thanks, Barbara, my personal email is on bbc if you want to try to send it to me. I have printed it out and reread it whenever I start feeling the dagger in my heart (I know that sounds cornier than a Reuben but that IS what it feels like, sorry, and I have been having evisceration nightmares too) and it helps, it makes me cry a little and then I go back to whatever I was doing. Just what I wanted, love this place. Mudcatters, you are the best.