1. What is your age range? 2. Gender?
Mature - Check my Mudcat profile.

3. Do you have a favourite colour?
Not really. I do like blue clothes for relaxation, red for stimulation, etc.

4. Favourite authors/type of book?
5. What books have you really been wanting?
See below

6. What type of music do you like?
7. What CDs have you really been wanting?
See below - ditto books

8. What movies have you been wanting? (specify VHS if you don't have a DVD player)
- none really - but I do collect very early cartoons on DVD - the region coding is a hassle in Australia.

9. What is your t-shirt size?
Prefer XXL or XXXL - cotton shrinks in wash - at least that what I keep telling myself!

10. Do you collect anything? if so, what?
Wil E. Coyote stuff - it's hard to get here in Oz.

11. What are some of your other hobbies?
See below

12. Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewellery?
No real preference

13. Please include anything else you feel is important that would help your Secret Santa know what you would like
See below


I have provided some hints (modified slightly from previous years) to help and deter all future Secret Santas, listed in more or less, but not necessarily, descending order of preference. Just go down the list till you reach a point at which you are comfortable, and remember, it's not the value of the gift, but the thought that counts. Of course, monetary value to a degree will offset rudeness and ill feeling, so you can insult me as much as you want, provided it is in balance...

Gold Bullion bars. For ease of accounting, please supply in complete dump truck loads - if you are not a Bruce Willis Fan, I expect this one will go completely over your head... :-)
(Actually, I got a neat little Lego dump truck filled with gold wrapped chocolate once! Thanks!)

Ditto, Silver bullion...

Jewellery, Gold (with stone settings if desired) of sufficient value that merits not melting it down. For ease of accounting please supply in complete container loads ...

Ditto, Silver...

Jewellery, Gold (with stone settings if desired) of sufficiently lesser value that merits melting it down. For ease of accounting please supply in complete container loads ...

Ditto Silver...

Precious Stones. For ease of accounting please supply in complete pallet loads ...

Ditto, Semiprecious Stones...

Negotiable Bearer Bonds. For ease of accounting please supply in complete pallet loads ...

Music, your personal CDs - single copies...

Music, your personal CDs - multiple copies...

Books - your personal output - ditto ditto ...

Non-Australian food or sweets or biscuits that will definitely be unavailable in Australia (most global brands are here - so something very local is appreciated more!) - be careful though as some things such as meats etc, will definitely be seized by Customs. No 'diet stuff' though as I can't stand the taste of artificial sweeteners, and yes I CAN taste most of them, apart from some of them giving me the runs etc. I'm a tea and coffee fan, and I prefer dark chocolate - the best I have found so far is the Lindt 85%.

Sheet Music (I can read anything up to full orchestral/band/choral scores - no wuckers mate!), or books new or secondhand, almost any topic. I don't have 'Rise Up Singing'... but anything old that you pick up secondhand will be appreciated. My tastes are eclectic and wide ranging, so those weird and wonderful old books from the turn of the century (I often collect them just for the tunes therein) that show you how to learn any instrument, I also like many old Oak (Music) Publications, or those that attempt to explain the theory of flight in the 1920's, or First Aid in WWI, or 'etiquette for young maids' etc, or anything that you think "Who the hell would want this?"... I am a 'Renaissance Man', and interested in things technical as well as artistic. Something like a programming manual for a Univac (I have a set of Burroughs B800 manuals & a DEC 10 system calls manual! as well as printouts of the original source code for Rogue & ADVENT), or a magnetic memory core plane, for instance... I play anything keyboard (piano, harpsichord, pipe & reed organs, piano accordions), whistles, Symphonie (hurdiegurdy), hammered dulcimer, Appalachian dulcimer, autoharp, misc percussion, but also I have some old 'folk music for guitar/banjo/etc' books. I am concentrating on my collecting these days in the music field, but that is not essential - if you see something that screams 'Weird Shit Man'...'

BTW, I already have the full set of Mudcat CDs.... Weird Shit Man...

I am into humour too BTW. If you want to learn something about me, see my profile, or visit http://homepage.powerup.com.au/~rhayes/vfoolshm.htm - my personal page is off that.... Weird Shit Man...

If you want to send me a T-shirt - I am about 6 ft tall and nearly 200 lbs. at least XL - 110cm + chest size - cotton ones shrink, you know. XXL or larger - I like to wear the really really large ones as night shirts. I don't yet have a Mudcat one. I like Royal/Navy blue.

Things REALLY don't have to be brand new - see the bit on old books, music, etc above. Old or unusual instruments - they don't have to be big or expensive.

Favourite author - Robert Aspirin (recently deceased) - don't have his last one, and they won't bring them into Australia, for some stupid reason.

Some previous year's "hits":
Some real Maple Syrup, in a cute Maple Leaf bottle! Yum! And the bottle was a great pass-on to a close friend who collects bottles.
Special Booze!
A whole bunch of different Jokers from playing Card decks.
Some various old books, including music.
A cute little Commedia-del-arte style 'fool'
Wil E. Coyote stuff.
A Lego dump truck packed with gold wrapped chocolate bars!

Thanks Guys!