Here are the lyrics for music hall singer Gus Elen's "A Nice Quiet Day".

A NICE QUIET DAY

I works just like a nigger and I isn't over-strong,
And I'm mostly on me trotters all the time.
So I'm glad when Easter Monday or a Whitsun comes along,
'Cause a day of perfect rest is really prime.
So I lately took it easy 'cause I had a day to spare,
With the wife and kiddies in their Sunday clothes.
'Twas a treat to make me mind up for a bit of country air,
And the pleasures of a quiet day's repose.

There was me and the missis and the 'arf a dozen kids,
Starting in the morning for the zoo.
'Twas a precious way, you know, but we made our minds to go,
And we took the lot to Epping Forest too.
To Highgate, Barnet, Hampstead, Peckham Rye,
At the Crystal Palace made a stay.
We got weary on our pins, and we lost the bloomin' twins,
But I'm glad we had a nice quiet day.

'Twas grand to see the London smoke from off the Monument,
When I dragged our pramberlutor to the top.
As soon as I got up there to the bottom I was sent,
'Cause the missis let the beefsteak pudd'n drop.
And when we reached the Serpentine the nipper tumbles in,
We held him up upside down a bit to drain.
And soon as we had scraped the mud from off his nose and chin,
Well, blimey, if he don't fall in again.

And there was me and the missis and the 'arf a dozen kids,
With nothing in the bottle but the bung.
But I gave the kids a treat when we come to Newgate Street,
'Cause I showed them where their uncle he was hung.
West Ham, Wanstead, Woolwich, Walthamstow,
We reached a spot they called St. Mary's Cray.
And then I says to Ma, "Now, you mustn't go too far,
'Cause I think we've had a nice quiet day."