"School Answering Machine"
{I suppose it's not True, but it's funny anyway}

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High
School California staff voted unanimously to record
on their school telephone answering machine.

This is the actual answering machine message for
the school. This came about because they
implemented a policy requiring parents as well as
the students to be responsible for their children's
absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by parents
who want their children's failing grades changed to
passing grades - even though those children were
absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not
complete enough school work to pass their classes.


"The Result"

The proposed outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering
service of your school. In order to assist you in
connecting to the right staff member, please listen
to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his
work -Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was
already enclosed in your newsletter and several
flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit
someone - Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time
this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child
must be accountable and responsible for his/her
own behavior, class work, homework, and that
it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of
effort: Hang up and have a nice day!