I do appreciate Alice's dilemma. We do need to do a "gut check". When my ancestors came to the "new land" from Europe in the 18th, they were seeking opportunity - but they were lucky, they were not fleeing from persecution.   There are plenty of reasons to pick up stakes. Most of us move at one time or another, whether it be from the home and town where we grew up or for a career opportunity later in life, or perhaps to a new location for retirement.   In those cases, our decision is based on individual needs.   

IF Alice is truly in a situation where her life needs a change to improve, that is terrific. But to make a move simply because you are "ashamed" is not the right reason, trust me, you won't find the answer because by simply moving further away from the problem - the problem will exist, and you will know it.