I have a friend who is not gay, and whose brother is quite active Gay Politics and some support groups. They are a close family and she often accompanies her brother to functions, parties, gatherings etc. Some time ago she became aware that her gay friends had assumed that she was also gay, because she went along to so many gay gatherings. While she didn't care about whether they percieved her gay or straight, she DID mind that if they ever found out she wasn't gay they might feel misled by her. But as it has never come up in conversation, she doesn't feel like just saying "by the way, I'm not gay" a propos of nothing.

I think this situation is easier to deal with on-line. Guest, you appear very articulate. I'm confident there are ways of describing experiences WITH THE WRITTEN WORD in a way that is difficult verbally. When you write things down you can put things in parentheses, play with CAPS etc, and there's no one to interrupt you or switch off after you've made an initial attempt.

Just the way you have explained yourself very eloquently on this topic, you do have the option of explaining what your situation and feelings are on a topic, and at the time they are raised. And at the same time, as you have here, you could explain why you are in two minds about explaining or correcting an assumption.

best wishes Callie