OK, let me see if I can clarify again...

JON - I said Misunderstood Incorrectly because the question was Have I misunderstood you correctly. I think we were both being funny.

Callie, you have the EXACT thing I mean. Your friend shouldn't have to say Oh I'm not gay, and the gay and lesbians should not feel insulted if it turns out they were wrong in their assumption. However, they might be anyway, even though they OUGHT not to be, after all, it ought not to be an insult to be thought to be a different gender, isn't the whole point of not being genderist that while they are DIFFERENT, none are better or worse? My take here is that Mudcatters are pretty enlightened, generous, non-bigoted, and that is why I was so surprised to see people APOLOGIZING for having been mistaken about issues of identity. If I mistake someone for a wo/man, when the correction comes I am not embarrassed as it would not occur to me that it was an INSULT. For instance, I have a long-haired small child frequently assumed to be female, which he isn't. But I am never OFFENDED if someone thinks he's a girl, and I am training him not to be either, as being thought a girl IS NO INSULT. If someone says How old is she? I just answer He's 5. If they then get all upset, I just smile and say That's fine, I'm glad you think he's pretty / well behaved - whatever prompted the comment - enough to be a mistaken for a girl. So far it's working, and he is the least likely in his entire preschool class to say thinks like Girls, ick.

JERI - if anyone ASKS am I (whatever) I answer truthfully. But I'm talking about when they don't ask, just keep going, and I don't feel the urge to correct them UNLESS I DO find their assumptions to be annoying/insulting/(pick a negative affect term). It's the errors that I don't care about that I don't correct.

And I don't find it insulting to be thought to be gay, Lebanese, cross-dressing or other, but SINCE YOU ASKED so nicely, Spaw, I can tell you that I am female, have US citizenship, and wear what would have been men's clothes in an earlier American era as I tend to wear pants a lot more than skirts or dresses, but then again in other cultures the skirts are what men wear, so although I don't consider myself to be a cross-dresser, others might. But because I consider none of those terms to be insulting, had you gone on with those assumptions without asking for feedback, I might have just let them go. WOULD YOU HAVE THEN BEEN UPSET TO FIND OUT LATER YOU'D BEEN WRONG?

And Crowhugger, I think what was meant was When you are satisfied with the answers you have received.