"Customer Service"

I called UPS about an insurance claim I had filed
on a package. I knew the automated voice
response system wouldn't be able to handle
this issue so I immediately said, "customer service."

It did a little beep-boop-bop computing noise, and
then insisted that I first pick from its menu, none
of which items bore any resemblance to insurance
claims.

I tried "track a package." It recited the status,
followed by "Can I help you with anything else?"
I said, more insistently, "customer service," at which
it complained that that was the most recent shipping
information.

Exasperated--but a bit curious--I said, "Damn you,"
and after the little computing noise, it swiftly
transferred me to customer service.