"GOLF"

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was
entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden....
and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
language.

GOLFER, n. a guy who has the advantage over
a fisherman - he doesn't have to bring home
anything when he brags he had a great day.


"One of the advantages bowling has over golf
is that you seldom lose a bowling ball."
-- Don Carter, pro bowler

Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head
down is so you can't see him laughing.

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's
golf game. It is called an eraser.

Tee your ball high...air offers less resistance than
dirt.

Life is like a game of golf: you drive hard to get to
the green and then you end up in a hole.

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the
ground with clubs and yelled, it was called
witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of
tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.