Well, here we are on the blustery last day of September facing an uncertain economic and meteorological future; the glorious Indian Summer days of the weekend are but a distant memory, and autumn it seems, is very much upon us. Time when a young man's heart (I am, after all, only 47, which is still young in the folk scene; at least it is in the old-school singarounds anyway, which is another issue...) turns to porridge. Now there's an image - one of a young man's heart turning to porridge; I dare say there's a song, or a story, in there somewhere!

Okay, to this end I present the perfected Porridge Turnover, for an image of which (and other autumnal essentials) see Here.

You will need:

Jumbo Oats
Sultanas
Grape Juice
Mixed Spice
Tap Water
(no milk, no salt, no sugar!)

The method is simplicity itself, but be sure to do this before going to bed.

One decent sized microwave-friendly cereal bowl, 1/3 fill with Jumbo Oats, to which add half that amount of Sultanas. Add a pinch of Mixed Spice, and stir in Grape Juice until thoroughly soaked. Top up with Tap Water, and mix until a liquid consistency is uniform. Place bowl into microwave and blast on full power for 4 minutes. Remove bowl from appliance and cover with plate. Stand aside until morning.

When morning comes, invert bowl onto plate and allow gravity to liberate the resulting porridge cake from the bowl. This might take some persuasion, but please take care so as not to disrupt the integrity of the bowl-moulded dome, for much of the appeal of this dish lies in the aesthetic gratification one receives simply in gazing upon this culinary wonder.

Before eating, you might like to select some suitably seasonal music. As you can see in my picture I have made three suggestions - 1) Voice of the People Volume 7 - First I'm Going to Sing You a Ditty - Rural Fun and Frolics, 2) Florilège de la Vielle à Roue by Rene Zosso & Anne Osnowycz, and, of course, 3) Hexenduction Hour by The Fall - but each to their own in this respect.

How one eats the Porridge Turnover is also a matter of personal taste. They, like me, might want to launch into it cold; others might wish to return it to the microwave for a thorough warming. The truly adventurous might wish to slice it, and fry it in a hot pan with butter. Whatever way you go, satisfaction will be guaranteed.

Sedayne of the Insane Beard,
The Last Day of September 2008.