The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #73983 Message #2459322
Posted By: Jim Dixon
07-Oct-08 - 11:21 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Hobnail Boots That Father Wore
Subject: Lyr Add: THE HOBNAILED BOOTS THAT FARVER WORE
Lyrics copied from monologues.co.uk:
THE HOBNAILED BOOTS THAT FARVER WORE
1. Poor Farver's feet took up half the street,
So his boots were in proportion,
And the kids he'd squash in a day, by gosh!
It really was a caution.
Now me and my brother, from the age of four
Up to eleven, used to sleep and snore
Nice and cosy in a box of straw
In the hobnailed boots that my farver wore.
2. On Lord Mayor's day, just to shout hooray,
Farver went, and how he sauced 'em!
But he blocked the street with his big feet
And the Lord Mayor drove across 'em.
And as he went a-riding through the Guild Hall door,
Farver fell wallop on his back, oh lor!
And the crowd stopped hooraying then, for all they saw
Were the hobnailed boots that my farver wore.
3. I've got good teeth, and it's my belief
I must thank Farver for it,
For if we've got coke and we want it broke,
I pick it up and gnaw it.
You've all got to eat a peck of dirt or more
Before you snuff it, it's a wise old saw.
Well, I've had my whack, I cut me teeth, oh lor!
On the hobnailed boots that my farver wore.
4. When young Kate and Flo went to Southend, so
As money they'd be saving,
Farver's boot was seen as a bathing machine.
In it, they undressed for bathing.
While they were undressing, they forgot, I'm sure,
The Farver'd cut for his corn, oh lor!
Now the boys are a-giggling at what they saw
In the hobnailed boots that my farver wore.
5. We had a goat with a cast iron throat,
Though he never used to bite us.
Farver's boots he chewed, and the goat they slewed,
For he died of appendicitis.
Now that goat had whiskers, and they touched the floor,
And when they were plaited by the kids next door,
Made the finest laces that you ever saw
For the hobnailed boots that my farver wore.
6. We took a trip on a great big ship
But my farver, so misguided,
Wouldn't walk about with his legs stretched out,
So the ship it went lopsided.
Down went the vessel through a hole in the floor,
And all 'cept the captain's mother-in-law
Were saved that night, for they rode ashore
In the hobnailed boots that Farver wore.
7. Farver worked one day, building ships they say,
For the Navy down at Chatham,
And some German spies opened wide their eyes
When his big boots they looked at 'em.
When those spies from Germany his big boots saw,
They wired to the Kaiser "Build two ships more."
What they thought were Britannia ships-of war
Were the hobnailed boots that Farver wore.
8. When I went to school, oh, I looked a fool,
For one day when we were drilling,
My teacher said, "Toe the line, fathead,"
And I did, though most unwilling.
Said she, "Don't keep backing through the school house door,
But just toe the line, as I've told you before."
"Oh, he has towed the line" said the kids with a roar
In the hobnailed boots that Farver wore.
9. The afternoon that we shot the moon,
All the tallymen we took in,
For we paid 'em nix and we moved our sticks
While the landlord stood there lookin'.
But my farver he walked as if his feet were sore
As he limped up the ally to the Old Brown Boar,
For we'd tucked the piano in the toes, oh lor!
Of the hobnailed boots that Farver wore.