C.Bob, yes, visitation is spelled out and yes, you'd think that the judge would mind the missed appts - but apparently since X2B and I disagree on the need for the therapy (I am in agreement with 1 Primary Care physician, 2 neurological clinics, 1 occupational therapist, 1 speech therapist, and 2 psychotherapists, X2B is in agreement with nobody but, apparently, the judge) the fact that therapy visits are ROUTINELY missed when the boys aren't with me didn't carry as much weight as I, and my lawyer, and the lawyers with whom I work, thought it would.
And I don't blame my lawyer in the slightest for losing (I tried for sole custody but judge has decreed it must be shared), we did all the right things, and the judge just "wishes" that shared would work...but we do have 2 more court dates, 1 to set child support and 1 to set visitation once the school year starts (kindergarten! Whoo woo!), I am continuing to keep my log and detail all the blowing-off, and we will continue to tell the court about it, and eventually maybe we'll be able to convince the judge that I'm not inventing things...

Boy was it a good idea for me to start this thread. You all are SO helpful, even when not offering the sage advice I've been getting... Great village!