4 and 9

I took a lady out West one night,
She had a very large appetite,
She asked me to take her out to dine,
I counted up me money, I had 4 and 9.

Chorus:
4 and 9 I still have yet,
4 and 9 I'll never forget,
Don't ever take a lady out to dine,
If you have in your pocket only 4 and 9.

She started off with some Oxtail soup,
Then stewed eels to loop the loop,
'Oysters dear', she said 'are fine',
But I kept muscles on me 4 and 9.

Chorus:

Next thing she ordered was some filet of plaice,
And put a chicken across her face,
And as I saw it go down her spine,
I said 'The Lord have mercy on me 4 and 9'.

Chorus:

In came the waiter and he looked at me,
'How about paying that bill' said he,
He kept his right eye fixed on mine,
But I kept me fist on me 4 and 9.

Chorus:

In came the boss and he gave a staaaaare,
He placed his foot but I wont say wheeeeere,
And out through the window I went flying,
Dancing on the pavement with me 4 and 9.

Chorus:

Repeat 3 times…

4 and 9 put another dollar up,
4 and 9 take a tip from me,
Don't ever take a lady out to dine,
If you have in your pocket only 4 and 9.