TRINITY CAKE
(Johnny Burke)

As I leaned o'er the rail of the Eagle,
The letter boy brought unto me,
A little gilt-edged invitation,
Sayin' the girls want you over for tea.
Sure I knew the O'Hooligans sent it,
And I went just for old friendship sake,
And the first thing they gave me to tackle,
Was a slice of the Trinity Cake.

There were bird calls, flutes, and mouth organs,
With handles of double edged files,
Corners of clergymen's pockets,
And pieces of broken bass viols.
Blue lights and petticoat jumpers,
That would build up a fine stomach ache,
For 'twould kill a man twice after eating a slice
Of this wonderful Trinity Cake.

Mrs O'Hooligan, proud as a peacock,
Kept smilin' and blinkin' away,
While her daughter Johanna, a spinster,
Was helping the boys to the "tay".
There was everything on the table,
That a man or a woman could take,
And my eyes nearly burst from their sockets,
For a taste of the Trinity Cake.

Ellen Reardigan wanted to taste it,
And she struggled near ready to bust,
Two sealers attacked it with hand spikes,
To try and remove the top crust.
Then McCarthy went out for a hatchet,
And Flannigan grabbed an old saw,
That cake was enough, by the powers,
To paralyze any man's jaw.

McCarthy complained of his stomach,
And Morgan felt bad in the head,
And Hogan crawled near the melodeon,
And fervently wished he was dead.
And Flannigan grabbed the accordion,
And there he did wriggle and shake,
And all of them swore they were poisoned or more,
From eating this wonderful cake.

There were glass eyes, bull's eyes, and fresh butter,
Lampwicks and liniment, too,
Pastry as hard as a shutter,
That a billy goat's jaw couldn't chew.
Tobacco and whiskers of crackies,
That would give you the fever and ache,
You'd crack off from the knees, if you happen to sneeze,
After eating this Trinity Cake.




from GEST