Mr. Coward had witty words and clever rhymes for every imaginable occasion. Today, for instance, I have been heartily humming, "There are Bad Times Just around the Corner"--


THERE ARE BAD TIMES JUST AROUND THE CORNER
(Noel Coward)

VERSE 1: They're out of sorts in Sunderland
And terribly cross in Kent.
They're dull in Hull
And the Isle of Mull
Is seething with discontent.
They're nervous in Northumberland
And Devon is down the drain.
They're filled with wrath
On the firth of Forth
And sullen on Salisbury Plain.
In Dublin they're depressed, lads,
Maybe because they're Celts,
For Drake is going west, lads,
And so is everyone else.
Hurray, hurray, hurray!
Misery's here to stay.

REFRAIN 1: There are bad times just around the corner.
There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky,
And it's no good whining
About a silver lining
For we know from experience that they won't roll by.
With a scowl and a frown
We'll keep our peckers down
And prepare for depression and doom and dread.
We're going to unpack our troubles from our old kit bag
And wait until we drop down dead.

VERSE 2: From Portland Bill to Scarborough,
They're querulous and subdued;
And Shropshire lads
Have behaved like cads
From Berwick-on-Tweed to Bude.
They're mad at Market Harborough
And livid at Leigh-on-Sea.
In Tunbridge Wells,
You can hear the yells
Of woebegone bourgeoisie.
We all get bitched about, lads,
Whoever our vote elects.
We know we're up the spout, lads,
And that's what England expects.
Hurray, hurray, hurray!
Trouble is on the way.

REFRAIN 2: There are bad times just around the corner.
The horizon's gloomy as can be.
There are blackbirds over
The grayish cliffs of Dover,
And the rats are preparing to leave the BBC.
We're an unhappy breed,
And very bored indeed
When reminded of something that Nelson said.
While the press and the politicians nag, nag, nag,
We'll wait until we drop down dead.

VERSE 3: From Colwyn Bay to Kettering,
They're sobbing themselves to sleep.
The shrieks and wails
In the Yorkshire dales
Have even depressed the sheep.
In rather vulgar lettering,
A very disgruntled group
Have posted bills
On the Cotswold Hills
To prove that we're in the soup.
While begging Kipling's pardon,
There's one thing we know for sure:
If England is a garden,
We ought to have more manure.
Hurray, hurray, hurray!
Suffering and dismay!

REFRAIN 3: There are bad times just around the corner,
And the outlook's absolutely vile.
There are home fires smoking
From Windermere to Woking,
And we're not going to tighten our belts and smile, smile, smile.
At the sound of a shot,
We'd just as soon as not
Take a hot water bottle and go to bed.
We're going to untense our muscles till they sag, sag, sag,
And wait until we drop down dead.

REFRAIN 4: There are bad times just around the corner.
We can all look forward to despair.
It's as clear as crystal
From Bridlington to Bristol
That we can't save democracy and we don't much care.
If the Reds and the Pinks
Believe that England stinks
And that world revolution is bound to spread,
We'd better all learn the lyrics of the old 'Red Flag'
And wait until we drop down dead.
A likely story:
'Land of Hope and Glory'.
Wait until we drop down dead.

THERE ARE BAD TIMES JUST AROUND THE CORNER
[American Lyric]

VERSE 1: They're nervous in Nigeria,
And terribly cross in Crete.
In Bucharest,
They are so depressed,
They're frightened to cross the street.
They're sullen in Siberia,
And timid in Turkestan.
They're sick with fright
In the Isle of Wight
And jittery in Japan.
The Irish groan and shout, lads,
Maybe because they're Celts.
They know they're up the spout, lads,
And so is everyone else.
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
Trouble is on the way.

REFRAIN 1: There are bad times just around the corner.
There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky.
And it's no use whining
About a silver lining
For we KNOW from experience that they won't roll by.
With a scowl and a frown,
We'll keep our sprits down,
And prepare for depression and doom and dread.
We're going to unpack our troubles from our old kit bag
And wait until we drop down dead.

REFRAIN 2: There are bad times just around the corner.
The horizon's gloomy as can be.
There are blackbirds over
They grayish cliffs of Dover,
And the vultures are hovering round the Christmas tree.
We're an unhappy breed,
And ready to stampede
When we're asked to remember what Lincoln said.
We're going to untense our muscles till they sag, sag, sag,
And wait until we drop down dead.

VERSE 2: They're morbid in Mongolia,
And querulous in Quebec.
There's not a man
In Baluchistan
Who isn't a nervous wreck.
In Maine the melancholia
Is deeper than tongue can tell.
In Monaco,
All the croupiers know
They haven't a hope in Hell.
In far away Australia,
Each wallaby's well aware
The world's a total failure
Without any time to spare.
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
Suffering and dismay!

REFRAIN 3: There are bad times just around the corner.
We can all look forward to despair.
It's as clear as crystal
From Brooklyn Bridge to Bristol
That we CAN'T save democracy
And we don't much care.
At the sound of a shot
We'd just as soon as not
Take a hot-water bath and retire to bed,
And while the press and the politicians nag, nag, nag,
We'll wait until we drop down dead.

REFRAIN 4: There are bad times just around the corner,
And the outlook's absolutely vile.
You can take this from us
That when they atom-bomb us,
We are NOT going to tighten our belts and smile, smile, smile.
We are in such a mess
It couldn't matter less
If a world revolution is just ahead.
We'd better all learn the lyrics of the old 'Red Flag'
And wait until we drop down dead.
A likely story:
'Land of Hope and Glory'.
Wait until we drop down dead.