OK - after over TWO YEARS, here goes:

CAPTAIN COLLINS AND THE MERMAID
(Annie Lore)

T'was on board the bonny "Lily"
Came a voice both wet and chilly
T'was a mermaid singing shrilly
Singing Fanny Adams

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
Singing Fanny Adams

Cries the Captain, "Ho there madam,
Please don't sing that 'Fanny Adams'
I hate that song with a passion,
Don't sing Fanny Adams!"

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
Don't Sing Fanny Adams

She threw herself upon the rudder
Gave a scornful look above her
Sang the gorey parts the louder
Singing Fanny Adams

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
Singing Fanny Adams

But the captain, now undaunted
Told the crew a net was wanted
Cast it o'er her while she taunted
Singing Fanny Adams

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
Singing Fanny Adams

Now at last the mermaid pleaded
No such hasty act was needed
"Let me go on unimpeded!
Won't sing Fanny Adams!"

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
No more Fanny Adams

"Quit yer moanin!" sez the captain,
"For in a cage you'll soon be clapped in,
You will make a fine attraction
Singing Fanny Adams!"

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
Singing Fanny Adams

Almost midnight came a roaring
All the seamen stopped their snoring
T'was a sound distinctly falling,
T'was not Fanny Adams

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
T'was not Fanny Adams

"Oh, set my daughter free by heaven!
I told her be home by seven!
Here it is half past eleven!
You'll get Fanny Adams!"

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
You'll get Fanny Adams

The crew they looked at one another
"Say! That is the mermaids mother!
We had best get under cover!
Curse that Fanny Adams!

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
Curse that Fanny Adams

Cries the Captain, "Let her chatter
She'll be tamer out of water
We'll server her just like her daughter
She'll sing Fanny Adams!"

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
She'll sing Fanny Adams

Behold, the mother then submerged
Cries the captain "Crew have courage!
You have no cause to be worried
THAT for Fanny Adams!"

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
That for Fanny Adams

But now an hour later, hardly,
Came a clamor most ungodly
The mermaids extended family
Singing Fanny Adams

Aunts and uncles by the dozens
inlaws, outlaws, dads and cousins
plus some unrelated dolphins
Singing Fanny Adams

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
Singing Fanny Adams

The Captain cried "I just can't take it!
Curse that song, oh how I hate it!
I went to sea just to escape it!
That song Fanny Adams"

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
That song Fanny Adams

"Oh take your daughter with my curses
Life with her is worse than worthless
If I ever see you surface
I'LL sing Fanny Adams!"

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
I'll sing Fanny Adams

They threw the mermaid to her mum
She cried "Them sailors ain't no fun!
They wouldn't let me have no rum,
And, they won't sing Fanny Adams!

Fanny Adams, Fanny Adams,
The won't sing Fanny Adams

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See definitive lyrics from Annie Lore below.
-Joe Offer-