Reminds me of the apocryphal story about the Regimental Sergeant Major who was bollocked by his CO for insensitivity when he bawled out on the parade ground: "Private Smith - report to the padre, yer muvver's just died!"
The CO implores him to be more tactful next time and he promises to take the advice to heart. The next time a squaddie's nearest and dearest departs, the RSM parades the unit and barks: "All of you with mothers, one pace forward MARCH!"
As the line of troops begins to lurch foward he bellows: "Private Jones - stay where you are!"
Sorry, tasteless, I know...