Yeah, that's right! California is a TERRIBLE place. Don't come here. And please, if you have had family or friends or aquaintences for that matter, move here from the East Coast, take them back. I'm sure that will help the mental health of both coasts. It will also go a long way to putting our political climate back to it's more conservative standard of times past. Hey! We will even throw Awnald in for free.

I hate the Rose Parade. Every year while you Easterns are shivering under tons of snow and blizzards on comes this parade seen the world over. People out in the early January morning in tee shirts and shorts, squinting into the sun to watch scantilly clad beauty queens go drifting by on floral arragngement.

Oh, we had ANOTHER earthquake the other day. It was a big one for us. I actually heard the window rattle. I was watching TV at the time. I can't remember what news was breaking. Was it ANOTHER hurricane devasting New Orleans and the surrounding environs for hundreds of miles? Or was it yet another twister erasing whole towns off the map? Oh! Wait! No, it was just another flood innundating thousand of square miles of farmland and any and all who happened to be in it's path.

Should I be the one to tell you that the San Andreas is a "strike-slip" fault and not a "strike-thrust" fault? That means that rather than falling into the ocean, San Francisco is destined to become an island (which is alright with me) and not another Atlantis.

Yes our "Disney-tized" voters voted out hunter-control of the mountain lion populations. They all felt that they knew better than the game management people and we are now increasingly seeing more of the sweet little "Big Cats" roaming the streets of suburbia. Fortuantely they are now gobbling up the very folks who voted to "de-regiulate" their numbers.

Fires! It's BAD here. Very bad. East Coast folks move out here and see a lovely canyon setting and say "That's where I want to live!" Yup, right in the very heart of Nature itself. Right out in the chamise (from the Spanish word "chamiso" which translates "firewood") and greasewood. Ah, nature! Funny thing about chamise and greasewood. It has a neat survival trick. It's made to burn and burn hot. They produce more BTUs than just about any other type wood. This way they completely destroy any other plants or most trees in their vicinity and then from their deep, knotted roots they spring back to life after the next rains fall.

Yes California is very dangerous and only the mentally ill should live here. Volcanoes, fires, pestilence, political insanity. Best stay home.