Just intercepted this message:

Skarpi,

Stop hiding in the freezer cabinet. Me and the lads are coming round to see you, and you better pay up!
If you don't, it won't be pleasant.
'Pretty Boy' Peter Mandelson will hit you with his handbag, and then 'Big' John Prescott (motto: Mines a large one!) will sit on you.

These boys don't mess about! (well they do.... but they've promised not to, on this occasion)

You can keep the bag of tomatoes, but we need the three quid.

signed
Gordon 'Switchblade' Brown - you can can call me Switchblade