I will not permit "natural" evergreen decorations in the Library. Period.

Neither will the Fire Department.

We will light four or five trees this years and put the wreaths. All are UL approved and all are artificial.

If I want to enjoy Christmas under the evergreens I'll drive out Mink Creek Road into the Caribou National Forest, perhaps cross-country ski on the city's Nordic Trail system or snow-shoe further up in the hills. Why, I could even rent a yurt and overnight, coming back the next day!

Now, I would permit real mistletoe but then I might open myself up to charges of sexual harassment. No, wait -- I could pin it to the seat of my pants and go the a City Council Meeting. Yeah!