Dear Penthouse Forum,

I have been reading the letters you've published for years and, to tell the truth, I never believed they were true stories. Or at least, that anything like that would ever happen to me.

Then one day this summer, as I was driving along the dirt road leading to my favourite fishing hole, I came up to a familiar crossroads and noticed a few vehicles had been involved in a small accident. Amazingly, nobody was hurt, though there were 4 vehicles involved. I stopped to offer assistance.

Incredibly, the 4 vehicles hasd come from the 4 different directions serviced by the crossroads. They had all met head-on in the middle of the intersection, so I couldn't have driven through if I wanted to. There was a small bus carrying the contestants of the Miss Nude America contest and they were standing about their vehicle in full uniform. There was another bus carrying a dozen teenage girls from the local 4H club and their pet sheep, on their way to the County Fair. There was a large flatbed trailer carrying a load of mattresses, feather dusters and Wesson oil. And, lastly, there was large transport truck with a refrigerated trailer full of Budweiser.

As I walked up to the crowd, that's when The UFO appeared overhead and the extraterrestrials descended with their anal probes...