I don't believe God has hands. I also don't believe He has a beard.

However, I have hands and a beard. I will gladly hold the election in my hands for an appropriate sum of money.

Sorry if that sounds mercenary, but if I'm going to be holding the election in my hands until November 4th, I won't be able to get any of my regular work done and this is a very busy time of year for me. It's only fair to expect reasonable compensation. $5,000 should cover it.