This one's about a Jehovah's witness who sells double glazing:-

JEHOVAH'S WINDOWS

1.Who's that knocking at my door?
Is that the knock I dread?
They always call when you're in the shower
Or half asleep in bed
They say they've come to take away
Your money and your sins
As you watch the milk of human kindness
Go running down their chins.

2."We happened to be in the area"
That's what they always say,
And grin at you as if to say:-
"This is your lucky day-
We've come about your windows
That you need to replace;
And we've got our foot inside your door,
And our hands inside your brains."

Chorus:

So , come and buy Jehovah's windows,
Sign on the dotted line,
Give us your soul, your money,
Until the end of time.
Why don't you surrender, Why put up a fight?
Just open up Jehovah's windows,
So you can see the light.

3.Now your existing windows,
They really are the pits,
They'll take with them your walls and roofs
When they fall to bits,
Followed by that fitted kitchen that we sold to you
So climb up onto the watchtower
And get a grandstand view.

It's no good trying a gentle hint,
We have no sense of shame;
We'll carry on patronising you
While your dinner goes up in flames-
We get a fat commission when all is signed and sealed
And a timeshare villa in Heaven
On completion of the deal

Chorus:

So, come and buy...

Don't think you can slam that door,
That would be in vain,
We'll just crawl down the chimney pot
Or wriggle through the drain,
We'll seep through any orifice,
You're not safe on the loo
'Cos like gremlins we'll swim round the bend
And grab a hold of you..

You can say that you're a Hindu,
An agnostic or the Pope,
But we're the universal salesmen
And we never give up hope.
We'll never leave 'til your resistance goes without a trace,
And you're left all double-glazed
Just like the expression on your face.

Final chorus:-

So, come and buy...