I saw a snail go whizzing past
A guy said "my, this train is fast"
Said I, "Old man, that may be true
But the question is, What's it fastened to?"

I said to the brakeman, "can't you speed up a bit?"
Said he, "You can walk, if you don't like it"
Said I, "Old man, I'd take your dare
But the folks don't expect me till the train gets there."