Well, I got a call from Winona "R" today, and she gave me hell. It was about my recent, shortlived infatuation with Sarah Palin. I was delighted to actually get a call from from my darling Winona, and nearly fainted with joy when I realized who was on the line, but I was not prepared for the tirade that followed...

"Are you out of your mind!" she screamed. "You're in love with Sarah F-ing Palin????? You have totally lost it! You have seriously lost your !!**ing marbles this time! I could understand the thing with Hillary, that was sort of cute because it was so totally unrealistic...but Sarah Palin!!!! You idiot!!! Are you aware of what that woman stands for? She is so NOT Hollywood that it makes me sick just thinking about it! I didn't grow up in a commune and get exposed to all that counterculture thinking around Timothy Leary and all to see people I share some common values with fall like a ton of bricks for a fascist moose hunting dominatrix from Alaska! How can you claim to love ME and then do THIS? I'm not going to stand for it!"

And that was just the beginning.

Well, I tried to explain that it had just been a brief infatuation resulting from the hypnotic effects of mainstream media, combined with the confusion that can temporarily result from consuming large amounts of 100 proof Canadian Maple Syrup at an all-night jam session.

But she wasn't listening...

Nope, she was talking. She did a whole lot of talking. Boy, can that girl talk. Yessiree.

So...I apologized profusely, pled temporary insanity, promised to mend my errant ways, and begged for forgiveness.

It's over with Sarah and me. Finished. Kaput. Done. Erased. Expunged. Terminated.

I shall only love Winona henceforth. In fact I have ALWAYS loved only Winona. Anything else would be simply inconceivable.