Aliter:

An audacious young lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina --
Her rectum, in Buckingham Palace.

There once was a certain Dalmatian,
A canine of high social station.
He was found in a ditch
With -- I won't say a bitch,
But -- a person of no reputation.

A dumb meter-reader named Peter
Used a candle to read a gas meter.
The predictable leak
Blew him into next week,
And, as you can tell if you know anything about scansion, it also ruined the meter.