There was a young lady called Claire
Had incredibly dense pubic hair
Her boyfriend, called Jim,
Never did find her quim
And said it felt just like fucking a bear.


There once was a lady called Drever
Had a most incredible beaver
This remarkable twat
Had teeth like a rat,
Cut down trees and built dams on the reever


A striptease artist from Bude
Would dance with a snake in the nude
It would slip down her front
Put its head up her c**t
And she'd say,"Oooh, that really feels gude".