The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2487086
Posted By: Little Hawk
06-Nov-08 - 09:24 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads's a lengthy process. I do a final check at the phone, fax, and computer to see if I have received any important messages from people like...

Winona. William Shatner. Chongo. Don McBride. Hillary Clinton. Putin. The Pope. And so on...

Usually I have not. But you can never tell, and I couldn't rest peacefully if I didn't check.

Okay. So with that done I prepare myself for slumber. I brush my teeth, floss, take out my contact lenses, wash up, that sort of thing.

I check to see if the guns are all loaded and the samurai swords are in their proper place, ready if I need them.

I doff my daytime clothes and spend a few minutes admiring my rippling muscles in the full length mirror. "Am I lookin' good tonight?" I ask myself. "Oooo! I'm lookin' GOOD!!!" I answer. A shame that Winona did not call...

I then sit in the lotus posture for 1/2 hour and meditate on the day's accomplishments. I repeat the mantra "Be as Shatner in all things, Be as Shatner in all things" over and over again silently in my mind. This mantra completely empties the mind of all extraneous thoughts and eventually results in placing the user in a blissful state of total calm and illumination.

My meditation completed, I pull back the covers, slip into bed, and am soon slumbering peacefully for exactly 7 hours.

And then it's another glorious day! ;-) (all the more so now that Obama has won the election, I might add)