How wrong can you be?

I saw this challenge yesterday, and thought 'No way! We might get a couple of takers, but this is way too hard'

I didn't get a chance to write anything last night.

I look in today, and find 58 postings, a whole lot of excellent songs, and a 'thread of the week' into the bargain.

And I'm left feeling 'how do you follow that ?'

Anyway, I tried. Tune is 'Ae May Morning'

Spitting Image

As I went out one June morning
A June morning it chanc'd to be
I strolled across the African Veldt
And a good old mate I had with me

My friend, he knew the country well
He knew their customs, knew their fun
He knew well what was taking place
When he saw a crowd gathered in the sun

Said he, "I'll show you an old charm
It's magic strong, as you will see."
He stooped, and from the savannah grass
A dark brown pellet he gave to me

"Now take this pellet in your mouth.
I bid you neither chew nor suck
And come and stand beside the crowd
I'll show how this can bring you luck"

So with the crowd we went and stood
A line was drawn in the sand
"Don't bite or swallow, just stand here"
So at the line I took my stand

"For this charm to work you must breathe deep
So breathe in deep and fill your lung"
I breathed in deep and held my breath.
"The charm is this: The pellet's dung!"

The pellet's dung! I spat it out
I spat it far, I spat it high
My stomach retched, my face turned puce
A cheer ran out beneath the sky

"The charm worked well. We've won the prize
Who spits the furthest gains reward"
I glared at him. My mouth felt foul
But still I uttered not a word

A local policeman then approached
With dung-stained mark between his eyes
I'd hit him square, I'd hit him well
I think it took him by surprise

"Now spitting is against the law
You're nicked, my friend, for what you've done"
The crowd yelled "No! Oh, let him go
Such petty laws will spoil our fun!"

My friend appeased the policeman well
And so we headed home, both free
My friend was laughing, I was mad
To think the fool he'd made of me

So as we passed a farmstead there
With midden deep and strong and full
I gave a nudge, my friend fell in
And now my friend is full of bull.

And as he lay in perfume rare
"Don't bite or swallow, chew or suck
I'll pull you out, just give me time
And promise not to feed me muck!"