Well Bobert, I'll thank him iffen ya say so, only I cain't afford no new guns right now. How's about you send me four or five hunnert dollars and I'll go buy one? I'll call it "Ol' Bobert" after ya.

(I ain't a member of the NRA, neither. NMLRA -- National Muzzleloading Rifle Association -- yeah, but you haven't heard of many drive-bys done with a flintlock lately, have ya?)