Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it fat and plastered,
When the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.


Mary had a little lamb
a little beef
a little ham
some fried chicken
and a little fish
Mary is a big fat bitch!


Little Miss Muffett
Spat in a bucket
while eating my curds and whey,
I came like a tiger
and shot off inside her
now Miss Muffett won't play.


Little Jack Horno
Was watching a porno
While eating his girlfriend out
He stuck in his tongue
and made the bitch cum
SURPRISE she's a squirter.


Gorgy Porgy pudding a pie
Fucked his girlfriend till she died
then he ate her dried up snatch
Gorgy's a fucking necrophiliac


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To smoke some marijuana
Jack got high
unzipped his fly
and said 'do you wanna?'
Jill said yes
and dropped her dress
then they had some fun
stupid Jill forgot the pill
NOW they have a son


Hey diddle diddle
the cat took a piddle
all over the bedside clock
the little dog laughed to see such a thing,
the cat has a little cock


Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candle stick
Now Jacks in the hospital with a burnt fucking dick!