Touch me when I'm bowling,
Touch me when I'm snowmobiling,
When I'm cleaning the cat litter
Surprise me with your hands,
And lightly, with kung fu--
Touch me!

(a parody after Utah Phillips)

There was an old woman who loved a swine,
"Piggy," said she,
"Piggy, dear, will you be mine?"
"Snort!" -- said he!!

(This kind of relationship happens much more than we men would like to admit.)

This young couple were childhood sweethearts,
She was a child and he was a hood,
They lived a life of blissful, pure devotion,
Their song is ended, and I think that's good!

(I wrote the song -- called "That's The Ticket" ----- but it was Carol that came up with that 'childhood' line!! So I stole it.)--

----Art Thieme